1. Encourage the other side to talk. Listen to their presentation and identify the real issues.
Not listening to the other side and understanding their position is a major negotiating mistake, because it can result in misunderstandings and impasse.
2. Don't accept the first offer; respond.
Very few negotiators make their best offer first. They expect an offer of another solution. As you develop your next solution, consider the other party's interests. It may be possible to serve their interests at little cost to your own by putting additional items into the offer of another solution.
3. Assess your own position.
Evaluate your own negotiating position to determine how strong you are, and in which areas. Do you have to have an agreement, or can you walk away? Are you under time pressure? What is your best alternative to a negotiated agreement? These and other questions will indicate how flexible or firm you should be.
4. Manage your mental states.
Avoid negative mental states. For example, it is common for inexperienced negotiators to feel weak (even when they are strong). Talk with yourself and others to stay in a positive state. Other errors include trying to be popular with the other party (try to be fair and professional instead), taking things personally, or getting angry. Treat the negotiation as a play in which you are an actor playing a part.
5. Craft offers by enhancing areas of agreement.
Look for areas that make it easy for the other party to say "yes." These are usually areas in which the cost to you is lower than the value to you and the price to the other party is lower than the value to them. Agreeing to small things first creates a positive atmosphere.
6. Understand and respond effectively to gambits.
Gambits are used frequently in negotiations. Probably the most common is the Higher Authority Gambit ("I have to talk with my sales manager"). Experienced negotiators have strategies to deal with gambits (for example, "Well, do you believe this deal is fair?", then "Can I count on you to go to bat for me with your sales manager?"). There are many others with cute names: Rug Merchant, Hot Potato, Good Cop/Bad Cop, Nibbling, etc. If you sense that the other party is using a gambit, break off to consider their offer and learn the effective counter tactics. You may develop your own gambits.
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7. Avoid obstacles to closure.
Sometimes, negotiators inadvertently create incentives for the other party to continue negotiating. Some strategies to avoid obstacles are:
- Make the best offer of another solution early on, then make smaller movement in succeeding solutions.
- Don't let one issue (frequently price) become the only issue on the table.
- Don't be the first to offer to split the difference.
8. Use phrasing effectively.
Effective phrasing is very effective in fostering agreement. Some powerful wording and phrasing include:
- "Can we be forgiven for that?" works well when appropriate.
- Replace "but" with "and" wherever possible.
- Avoid negative phrasing. For example, replace "I guess you wouldn't want to..." with "Do you feel like it would be unreasonable for you to..."
- Play back a summary of your understanding of the other party's current position.
- "Fair/unfair" and "reasonable/unreasonable" are effective to summarize your feelings. For example, "What do you think is fair?" usually receives a constructive response.
- Sentences with "because" encourage the listener to be logical.
9. Negotiate an agreement that is consistent with your long term interests.
Understand your long term interests and never accept an agreement that serves short term needs at a higher cost to your long term interests.
10. Study and practice the science of negotiation.
This list only touches on "the tip of the iceberg." There are many books, tapes, and seminars that describe advanced concepts. Learning and practice will develop your negotiating skills and a style that works for you. As you develop your own style, negotiating will become more comfortable for you. A word of caution: some people find negotiating fun and exciting and become "Sharks." Be alert to this and maintain negotiation-free zones. The other people in your life may not like having you nibbling at them.
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Bruce St.John, strategist-coach, can be reached at bstjohn@aol.com
